I’ve been meaning to post all week before WeWriWa, but I haven’t been able to really bring myself to it. I’ve been dealing with some personal issues and it’s really detracting from my ability to focus on my writing. I feel like I’m dragging my heels every time I edit, barely making it through a few pages before I give up. I guess I just need to buckle down and get through it. I’m not necessarily in a rush, but I’m looking to have some significant work done by August. I want to attend a writing conference in NYC and I need a finished manuscript if I’m going to pitch it. I’m already feeling butterflies over the prospect of trying to pour my heart/story out in 90 seconds, but I suppose I’ll figure out a way to get over it by then. I mean it’s a shot at getting published, I’m not about to waste it over being a little nervous. But enough of that.
I’ve literally covered my manuscript in sticky notes regarding continuity. I think my biggest challenge as a writer is crafting suspense. I’m not writing a mystery story, but I’d like to keep the reader guessing a little. It’s hard to tell if I’ve accomplished this goal or not from my perspective, but I’ve got readers lined up and I can’t wait for their feedback. I also have been working really hard to create believable characters that exist in a believable world. One step at a time I suppose.
I’ve had in my head a scene I’ve written for a little while now. Evie and Grey are supposed to fall for each other slowly but surely and I’m trying to delicately depict the culmination, that moment where the glass wall shatters into pieces. Obviously this little snippet is not going to show the progression, but it will show the shattering. Check it out!
She spied doors that led out into grounds in the corner next to the stairs, the handles blending into the lattice work of the window doors. She opened one side and slipped out, closing it as delicately as she could behind her, yet leaving it a little ajar for her return. The last thing she needed was to be locked out. She made her away across the grassy area that directly surrounded the palace until she found herself under the protection of the trees and brush.
Grey didn’t bother to greet her, he instead pulled her close enough to hear his whispers. “Evie,” he started. “I need you to listen to me carefully.”
“What do you mean?” she said in a hushed voice, noticing the grimace on his face. He was still bandaged up, but no blood could be seen having seeped through it.
“People are disappearing at the temple. Members of the Order, mostly the lower ranked are going missing, including Instructor Gabriel. No one seems to know where they are, and the concern about their whereabouts is not where should be,” he told her, taking a hold of her shoulders.
“Grey, I can’t help, I’m already enough trouble as it is. Are you sure you’re seeing what you’re seeing?” she said, though she didn’t doubt his resolve.
“I have never lied to you Evie, and I trust my eyes.” He shot back, looking a little hurt. “I suppose you think you’re safe here.”
“It made sense Grey, Daemion’s agreed to offer me refuge,” she told him, her words faltering a little as they left her mouth. She bit her lip, a resurgence of pain coming back into her brain and heart.
“You can’t marry him Evie, you can’t even trust him. Ask him why he meets with the High Priest. The Order and the government don’t mix, they have entirely different agendas. I’ve seen them when they don’t think anyone’s looking,” he whispered with a forceful tone, his eyes staring intently into hers.
“I’m sure their camaraderie is just from the time he spent with the Order, remember you told me that? I think your prejudice because of the way he treated you is just getting to you,” she told him, trying to help, but she was sure she was making it worse.
“Please don’t fall for anything, he’s not the only one that can protect you,” he said, breaking away from her eyes to look down at the ground.
The memory of him pushing her away came crashing back into her mind out of the nothingness, the way he had said those words, the anger that saturated them was still rotten in her mouth. “You pushed me away when I needed you,” she plainly stated, pulling away from him.
“I was wrong to do that, I just didn’t know how to feel,” he admitted in a strained voice. She could see pain on his face, the moonlight catching the frown.
“I can’t tell you how much I needed to see your face today, to have you save me from the hell I was trapped in like you always promised you would. But you weren’t there,” she cried softly, pressure building up in her head. She didn’t want to cry in front of him, she wanted him to feel her anger.
“You have no idea how much I hate myself right now. I would move heaven and earth for you Evie, just like I promised,” he choked, the words fighting as they passed by his lips. Everything was tense, the overwhelming sense of pain between them crashing down like a wave.
She couldn’t help it, tears welled up. “Grey…” she started, but he cut her off.
“Evie, let me protect you,” he managed to say, though his shoulders sunk down in defeat.
Evie felt trapped, torn and destroyed. Her heart felt like it was in her throat and a sickness was rising. Every cell in her body felt like it was on fire, pounding like drums. He made her feel crazy, like the world was spinning around her. “I can’t back out of this,” she sobbed, trying to hold back the flood.
“Then I’ll have to fight for you,” he told her. He reached out, sliding an arm around her waist to pull her in, the other traveling up her back to hold her tightly. His kissed her and it felt like the world stopped. It was different than anything else, her heart was booming and she was sure he could feel it with their bodies pressed together. He made her feel so alive like no one else could, something she never wanted to lose. He released her to take her face in his hands, his fingertips rough against her skin, though she didn’t mind. His touch alone was enough to send a wave of light-headedness up her spine to swell in her head. “You should go.”
Evie snapped back to reality at his words. She wanted nothing more than to stay in that moment with him. This is what it was supposed to feel like, she was sure of it. “I know.”